Am gonna tell you a sad story... HEY ... I said SAD... You know? Come
to the mood then, wen i say its SAD, u better be prepared with hand
kerchief and stuff to soak it up in tears when the story ends ... And
never laugh, it'll spoil the grim and gravely mood required for the
story...
Here we goes then...
One day, its not any other day, for its today ((12/03/2010)),is an off day for me...
I got up late, took a shower, put on a jeans (not to mention unwashed
for a long and to be washed today !), had break fast and went out into
the great Bangalore city...
My plans were simple, go to ATM, browse Internet in some net cafe,
get my hair cut, have a good lunch and come back...
I was watching all the sign boards carefully, for the fear of getting
lost in the city! And the name 'Internet parlour' did not fail to
escape my glance... The shop seemed deserted, and i wasn't getting a
warm response from the guy sitting in the cash counter... As i got in,
he eyed me with his brows raised in a questioning manner... He said
"no power" in a hostile tone,just before the last syllable of the
word "Internet" escaped from me... He said " one hour " , in response
to my query.
I came out cursing the power, electricity department, but i couldn't
extend the cursing to higher level like central government and society
as a bike drag my attention.. It was a normal pulsar 180 driven by a
normal "not so good looking" b'lore lad, but behind him was a
"flower"... Enjoying the sight and sighing i started thinking what
would i do to kill an hour! ATM was nearby, and haircutting saloon was
yet to be discovered in the jungle of shops... ATM, could've been
waited, had i found a saloon sooner, for I'd Rs100 left with me...and
that would suffice for all my plans for the day. But i went to the ATM
first. Then i saw a normal non ac saloon nearby, and i don't know how i
missed it in the first place ... I was wondering why these idiots don't
start an ac saloon, because , as i knew from Chennai, isn't gonna be much
expensive... There wasn't anyone in the saloon. A short man who was
standing near by beamed at me and asked me to get in as i teetered on
the threshold. Both back and front mirrors were fixed at the same
level making it impossible to view the back of my head... I thought
why these Bangalore idiots don't have commonsense, at least to fix
mirrors in a barbershop!
He did not ask my suggestions and i was at sea thinking which
language to use! Finally i found my refuge in Tamil to tell him how i
wanted him to cut it. To my astonishment, he responded in English! And
i thought "country Chennai barbers, when are you gonna be globalised!"
After the cutting was over he started massaging my head... It was good
and i thought " Chennai barbers, see how professional this b'lore
barbers are!"... He said " NO"... And he wasn't done yet while i tried
to get up... He made some adjustments in the chair, that made me feel
like laying on a "dentist's chair"... He gently massaged my face...
Thought he was about to do the normal finishing works in the side &
back of head with blade... I closed my eyes as the massaging got
faster, fearing his fingers might get into my eyes! He applied the
shaving foam, taking advantage on my perplexed state after the
massage, even without asking me, if i need a shave... I didn't resist,
but thought let him do it to hell with it, and i thought " Chennai &
kerala barbers, did u see how he forced a shave on a customer and how
the customer become irresistibly persuaded to accept it through a
simple massage!! When are you gonna improve!!"
After shaving he wiped out all the remaining froth with a
tissue,applied some intense after- shave lotion, that surprised me and
watered my eyes! Then he started massaging my hair again... He asked
me "oil?" and he poured about 100ml (slightly exaggerated !!) of
navaratna thel , from a big bottle, when i nodded
in agreement!!! Following the most rough massage of my head I'd ever
experienced! My head was swaying with the force of massage! He reached
the back of my neck and continued massaging in violent moves &
beast-like force ... Amidst the merciless massaging, i closed my eyes
and thought again... " country barbers of Chennai & kerala, do you see
this? can you match this?"
He cleaned gently the oil, that started flowing to my forhead with a tissue.
Then he asked me to free my neck, and twitched my neck both both ways
as if trying to pull it out, and i heard something cracking inside!!
He did the same with my ears and something cracked again.
And i could see my eyes staring from the mirror at me in disbelief
and almost horror-struck!!!I examined if i could still hear with both
the ears and move my neck. And then i saw some other eyes as well, of
those waiting for their turn, gazing in amusement! Then he said, he'll
do facial as well... But this time i refused to fall prey to his
tantalising offer and crude skills!! He said "next time", and i
nodded.
He asked me to wait, and brought a mirror and show me as if to prove
how skillfully he did his job with the back & side of my head.
Again i thought with contempt "barbers of Chennai & kerala...pity you!!!"
Raising from the seat,
I asked "how much",
i was taken aback when he said with a smile "170"...
I raised my brows quizzically at him to repeat (SAY WHAT!!!) and i
feared my mouth was open and eyes were about to protrude out from
their socket..
He repeated with the same smile (meaning "its just...") "170" .
It was then i felt the world around me was spinning, and i forgot to
notice the expression on my face in the mirror!
I came out cursing the barbers of Bangalore with all the strongest
possible swear-words i knew.... Wondering what would I've done had i
gone in the saloon with just Rs 100, and thanking god for leading me
first to ATM!
And thus, the story...
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